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Shriner U – A Family Affair Fireside Chat: Changing Family Dynamics

Shriner U – A Family Affair Fireside Chat: Changing Family Dynamics

A family-focused culture within Shrine chapters forges deep connections and strengthens community bonds, creating a lasting legacy rooted in our shared Shriners' cause. By actively involving families, we not only boost membership growth but also shape the future of our fraternity. This program is designed with the entire family in mind – Nobles, spouses and children. Speakers: Jordan Settle, Past Potentate, Jaffa Shriners Mandii Sturlaugson, Spouse, El Zagal Shriners
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[Title Card] SIEF Noble Academy logo, Shriners International Education Foundation presents: Shriner U – A Family Fireside Chat: Changing Family Dynamics

[Title Card] Jordan Settle, PP, Jaffa Shriners

As we talk about moving forward, as we talk about generations and the different generations, in your Shrine you could have four or five different generations just within your own little temple. And I'll tell you, as a millennial, we're really looking for family-friendly organizations where we can do stuff and spend time with our families. I often talk about it in Oriental Guide School, 30, 40 years ago, we were one-income families. A lot of families were one-income, and the husband worked an eight, 10, 12 hour day, and at home it was generally accepted because the wife took care of the family. And he'd say come home from work and, "I'm going to go play with the boys at Lodge or at the Shrine." And at the time, society allowed that. Now the wife is working eight, 10, 12 hour days and it's just a different dynamic. Now the husband comes home and he goes, "I'm going to go play with the boys over at the Lodge, and she says, "No, you're not. You're going to change this diaper," and they hand you a baby. So that's the part of how society's changed over the last 40 years. Organizations like Freemasonry and the Shrine are great organizations to raise families and raise children because of the values that we all hold and have in them.

[Title Card] Mandii Sturlaugson, Spouse, El Zagal Shriners

I think you're absolutely right. I think the other thing to keep in mind is this is something to celebrate, right? We're seeing a better connected family unit. You're seeing those dads get done with work, and if they're not changing a diaper, or I will say cooking supper, you know what they're doing? They're teaching baseball, they're teaching their kids football. They are active within their community and with their kids. And those are all really strong things to celebrate, and we as a society have to look at that and accept that, and again, embrace the fact that we're bringing back a really strong family unit.

Relationships now aren't just looked at as, "That is my wife," "That is my husband." It is, "That is my partner." And everything I do, I do with my partner and I enjoy doing it with my partner. And the minute I can't or I don't feel that connectivity, there's too many options out there for me to go pick that I can find something new. Or to be honest with you, I can encourage my husband that we're going to go someplace new, because I want to feel that sense of belonging just like he does.

So in the past, I think there was a large expectation that one would follow in their father's footsteps, whether that be occupation, skill sets, what have you. And you know what? That changed. And it's okay. Everyone has and can create their own individual path. But what that means is we have to also make that a worthwhile event for them. So while we may have missed a generation between the '70s and '80s and now, we have not lost our audience. We've just lost that exact expectation that one becomes it.

So looking at what we're looking at in terms of membership and in terms of family engagement, we have to look back at that family unit. How can we get those guys back engaged with us and give them that experience and it be a positive one that includes everybody in that family?